


avengers+twitter=chaos

by hrimagines



Series: peter and the avengers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, F/M, I suck at tagging can you tell?, Identity Reveal, M/M, ignoring cacw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrimagines/pseuds/hrimagines
Summary: who let peter loose on twitter?? the avenger’s crazy twitter adventures...just some cracky twitter ficthis is my first fic i apologise if it sucksenjoy!!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Series: peter and the avengers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733701
Comments: 8
Kudos: 310
Collections: Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> i apologise if i’ve accidentally stolen your ideas, i’ve read lots of twitter fics and can’t really remember which ones to credit 😅😅

~~~~~

officially me @spideyman  
okay but slamming face first into concrete after running outta web fluid actually sucks

my friends call me @mj  
@spideyman lmao loser

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
@spideyman wow these fakes are getting good

officially me @spideyman  
@notwhatyouthink hmm yes fakes 

you know who I am @tonystark  
@spideyman KID YOU NEED TO STOP TRYNA GIVE ME AN ANEURISM

flash @spiderfan  
HOLY SHIT

SPIDEY REPLIED!!!! @notwhattouthink  
OH MY GOD SPIDEY REPLIED TO ME

~~~~~

officially me @spideyman  
Whomst The Fucketh Hath Consumethded My Pizza @avengers

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
oh shit he knows 

officially me @spideyman  
well clint, you wouldn’t happen to know what happened to my pizza would you? ;)

officially me @spideyman  
alright then, since no one’s willing to tell me, i think its time for some drastic measures don’t you think, clint?

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
oh fuck he’s comiKABDHEKABAKLANSJDBLOWYBALDNDNXB

spidey’s AI mom @KAREN  
i know i shouldn’t condone this but all i have to say is @clintb you had it coming.

you know who i am @tonystark  
@spideyman kid do you really have to order a truckload of chickens just to get back at clint?

holy @shit  
wait whAT lmao #riphawkeye

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
lmao #riphawkeye

nat @blankwindow  
sucks to be you @clintb #riphawkeye

cap @steverogers  
i’d help you but that would mean inflicting spidey’s wrath and boy i do not want to be on the recieving end of it 

~

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
i lived bitch

bucci @jbbarnes  
you literally get shot by a tranq gun for super soldiers every other week? i’m surprised you aren’t dead yet at this rate @clintb

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
this is literally not the worst that’s happened 

~~~~~


	2. what’s crackalackin’?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry this is hella short but i really don’t have time,,,  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> most countries are under lockdown but NO WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP SCHOOL OPEN ugh  
> although i do get that they’re tryna maintain a certain level of normalcy so ig it makes sense

~~~~~

officially me @spideyman  
wHat’S cRacKaLacKin’? mY bOneS. 

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
i’m scared

nat @blankwindow  
of course you are clint

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
ouch nat, words can hurt :((

nat @blankwindow  
lmao suffer loser

nat @blankwindow  
seriously though spidey, what’s wrong?

i’m crackalackin’ @spideyman  
my leg broke lmao 

i’m crackalackin’ @spideyman  
swinging back to the tower

greenbean @robertbbanner  
why me,,,,, 

~

you know who i am @tonystark  
kid YOU NEED TO TELL ME THESE THINGS

i’m crackalackin’ @spideyman  
sorry mr stark sir

you know who i am @tonystark  
...i told you to stop calling me mr stark

officially me @spideyman  
iT’s a siGn oF rEspeCt mR stArK

you know who i am @tonystark  
i thought we were past that phase :(

officially me @spideyman  
hm

~~~~~


	3. death by CEO is a thing!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well its a home based learning day,,, fUn  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> pepper is powerful :))

~~~~~

loki @mischiefnmagic  
thor is insufferable

peter with a b @yeeter  
mr loki that’s not very nice!!

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
loki as in battle of new york loki? isn’t he a villian?

peter with a b @yeeter  
it wasn’t mr loki’s fault :(( he was being mind controlled 

you know who i am @tonystark  
huh, that actually makes sense

peter with a b @yeeter  
mr loki’s great!! he loves it when i braid his hair and do our nails together

loki @mischiefnmagic  
peter. my rep.

peter with a b @yeeter  
but it’s true!!!

hello i’m @jared  
aww peter is precious

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
who even is peter and why does he know loki and tony stark?

flash @spiderfan  
peter’s in my class and he’s a total loser i bet he paid them to do this

you know who i am @tonystark  
a highschooler? paying me, an actual billionare? lmao ur fucking dense 

you know who i am @tonystark  
but in all seriousness, peter is my intern and i don’t tolerate bullying @spiderfan you better watch your mouth

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
TONY

you know who i am @tonystark  
well shiISHSUWHSJAJSJAJAJAHRJEH

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
lmao she got him before he could finish

Daily Mail @dailymail  
fun fact: death by CEO is actually a thing!

peter with a b @yeeter  
@dailymail LMAO NICE tru thou ms potts is scary when she’s mad

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
why thank you pete :)

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
i feel intimidated

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
as you should

nat @blankwindow  
as you should

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
@saltnpepper are you insinuating that nat’s not responsible or-

nat @blankwindow  
thin ice there clint. thin ice.

~

we save the world sometimes @avengersofficial  
we’re having an avengers q&a so feel free to leave your questions and we’ll pick a few to answer!!

what the hap is @frickening  
@tonystark is @spideyman an avenger?

you know who i am @tonystark  
@frickening i offered him a position on the team, but he said he’d like to stay close to the ground for a while, you know, help the little guy.

you know who i am @tonystark  
@frickening we do consider him an honorary avenger though

officially me @spideyman  
aww thanks guys 

save the turtles @vscogirling  
@clintb what’s your most embarrassing moment?

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
@vscogirling what makes you think i have embarrassing moments? i’m an avenger!!

nat @blankwindow  
@vscogirling @clintb lmao what a joke clint has way too many embarrassing moments-like that time he got locked in the tower vents for two hours cause he’s an idiot an he cried 

what the hap is @frickening  
LMAO WTF 

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
@blankwindow how could you,,, the bEtrAyaL

nat @blankwindow  
suffer

~~~~~


	4. god is a woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is hella short but also they finally decided to shut school down starting wednesday wheeeee  
> seriously though, home based learning is worse, because there are too many hecking distractions and my sister and i will be fighting over the laptop.  
> not because we don’t have two, we just have preferences.  
> stay safe!!

~~~~~

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
so is it just me or is anyone wondering wtf just happened... because i’m on a field trip to stark towers and the pa system just started blasting god is a woman????

peter with a b @yeeter  
ah yes its perfectly normal dw about it

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
okaaaayy? but why-

you know who i am @tonystark  
i programmed @fristark to play it every time @blankwindow @captainmarvel or @scarletbritch beats any of the other avengers at sparring. or when @saltnpepper walks out of a meeting after showing up some sexist asshole. 

holy @shit  
and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we stan @tonystark 

r-rebecca its @nothwhatyouthink  
niCe

~

wanda @scarletbritch  
@thevision is a babey

i see you @thevision  
aww thanks babe @scarletbritch

save the turtles @vscogirling  
i ship it

~~~~~


	5. shuri has a crush; peter is a lovable idiot, as usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yayy new chapter :)  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> its coronacation time  
> the humping bit was inspired by my sister’s typo of humping off a rock 😂

~~~~~

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
somebody explain to me why tf i’m friends with this idiot @yeeter

holy @shit  
explain??

peter with a b @yeeter  
SHURI NO

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
oh shuri yes

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
he tried to text me “jumping off the empire state building now, look” but made a typo and ended up with “humping off the empire state building now, look” 

holy @shit  
LMFAOOO

officially me @spideyman  
lmao loser

peter with a b @yeeter  
@spideyman ouch

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
@yeeter i condone this humping 

holy @shit  
wtf-

you know who i am @tonystark  
@clintb shut up

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
dear god when will these idiots stop causing a pr shitstorm everywhere they go

you know who i am @tonystark  
sorry pep 

~

peter with a b @yeeter  
sHuRi haS a crUsH @brincessofwakanda

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
shutupshutupshutup 

officially me @spideyman  
@brincessofwakanda you’re not subtle

caw caw motherfuckers @clintb  
@brincessofwakanda you’re really not

wanda @scarletbritch  
@brincessofwakanda you’re not subtle

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
gee thanks for the vote of confidence 🙄

peter with a b @yeeter  
well i’m going to let them know while you die of embarrassment so-

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
PETER

peter with a b @yeeter  
karma’s a bitch lol

~

yeeter:  
so mj, shuri has a crush as you’ve probably heard?  
well its you. you’re her crush.

mj:  
i know loser  
she isn’t fucking subtle about it

yeeter:  
lmao yes we know 

~

peter with a b @yeeter  
@brincessofwakanda she knows. she said and i quote “she isn’t fucking subtle about it” lmao get together already.

shuritzo @brincessofwakanda  
hajsbsuabakakaansbsban

peter with a b @yeeter  
shuri.exe has stopped working

my friends call me @mj  
lmao

~~~~~


	6. soft avengers: the content we live for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was p fun to write :))  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> please feel free to correct my inaccuracies in the comments :)  
> stay safe!!

~~~~~

peter with a b @yeeter  
i would like to announce that after a whole year of @brincessofwakanda avoiding her feelings, she and @mj are FINALLY together!  
(pic of shuri and mj kissing on top of stark tower in front of the New York skyline)

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
ayyeee congrats!!

t’challa @kingofwakanda  
congratulations to the both of you! @mj @brincessofwakanda 

wanda @scarletbritch  
congrats guys! @brincessofwakanda @mj

gitc @nedthaniel  
yay my two best friends are finally together :)) @mj @brincessofwakanda

~

we save the world sometimes @avengersofficial  
hii this is @yeeter i hacked the avengers twitter acc just to post this  
(pic of steve and bucky sparring)

you know who i am @tonystark  
you can really see the chemistry ;) @starspangledidiot @jbbarnes

schmaptain schmerica @starspangledidiot  
shut up tony

schmaptain schmerica @starspangledidiot  
how do you change my “twitter handle”

bucci @jbbarnes  
lmao steeb being dumb? not new

holy @shit  
HAHAHAHAHA 

officially me @spideyman  
stove being an old man is the content i live for

captain marvel @cdanvers  
stove lmao

peter with a b @yeeter  
don’t worry cap, you can ask friday for help

schmaptain schmerica @starspangledidiot  
of course! thank you, peter

peter with a b @yeeter  
np sir!

you know who i am @tonystark  
pete why

stark tower’s ai @fristark  
@karen you ready? :))))

spidey’s ai mom @karen  
ready when you are @fristark 

@fristark and @karen  
operation twitter handle is a go

holy @shit  
how did you-

stark tower’s ai @fristark  
;)

spidey’s ai mom @karen  
;)

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
wtf i’m scared

a babey @yeeter  
oh no @karen please

a babey @yeeter  
NO 

a babey @yeeter  
I CAN’T CHANGE THIS HWBSJAKAKALA

~

irondad @tonystark  
what’s my new handle? 

irondad @tonystark  
awwww thanks fri @fristark

stark tower’s ai @fristark  
don’t thank me, thank peter

a babey @yeeter  
WTF FRI NO BLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

spidey’s ai mom @karen  
they’re peter’s contact names for you in his phone

a babey @yeeter  
@karen tHe beTraYaL

irondad @tonystark  
peter how are you so PURE

holy @shit  
right?!?!?!

spidermom @blankwindow  
what’s mine?

spidermom @blankwindow  
awww thanks pete

spidey’s ai mom @karen  
peter says and i quote, “why won’t death just take me” time for @brincessofwakanda to come fix her broken white boy

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
of course!! @karen

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
nice handle, thanks pete!

uncle stove @starspangledidiot  
i fail to see how this is any better, friday

uncle bucci is gucci @jbbarnes  
HAHAHA “uncle stove”

uncle stove @starspangledidiot  
well bucky’s crying

uncle bucci is gucci @jbbarnes  
AM NOT

birb uncle @clintb  
he’s crying i can see it from the vents

uncle bucci is gucci @jbbarnes  
gtfo u ugly vent rat

birb uncle @clintb  
oUch

spidermom @blankwindow  
stfu clint

witchysis @scarletbritch  
ily pete 💙

uncle rhodey @warmachinerox  
B) —> B:O

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
soft avengers: the content we didn’t know we needed but got anyway

save the turtles @vscogirling  
everyone say thank you peter parker for this amazing content

holy @shit  
peter parker: secret domestication powers?

birbking @samwilson  
HAH @clintb i am the superior birb

birbuncle @clintb  
you may be the birb king but i will happily take being a member of peter’s family over an opportunity to lord over the birbs

what the hap is @frickening  
lmao wtf

space aunt @cdanvers  
@warmachinerox you better have a good reason for making me do this at 7am in the morning i want my sleep

space aunt @cdanvers  
ahhhhh my hEarT

holy @shit  
carol danvers is my spirit animal. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

uncle lokes @mischiefnmagic  
thanks peter

the thunderman @thor  
THANK YOU, YOUNG STARKSON 

eyeseeyou @thevision  
nice pun :)

grandpa eyepatch @nickfury  
@yeeter what is this

a babey @yeeter  
your new twitter handle sir

grandpa eyepatch @nickfury  
well then thank you

the greatest scientist of our generation @robertbbanner  
@yeeter i’m honoured

irondad @tonystark  
@yeeter no lab privileges for the week

a babey @yeeter  
but mr stark,,, please,,, 

~~~~~


	7. peter and shuri take stark/avengers tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s been one day of home-based learning and i genuinely have no more motivation to continue.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> stay safe!!

~~~~~

a babey @yeeter  
@brincessofwakanda is coming to New York tomorrow!! can’t wait!!

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
@yeeter HELL YEAH

a sleep deprived irondad @tonystark  
oh fuck no 

a sleep deprived irondad @tonystark  
brace yourself world, the apocalypse is nigh 

a sleep deprived irondad @tonystark  
also wtf fri why is this my handle @fristark

stark tower’s ai @fristark  
you’re running on 8 hours a sleep for 72 hours sir

a babey @yeeter  
MR STARK

a sleep deprived irondad @tonystark  
wait peter no i’m almost done with this projjwnwjajanskaksskak

holy @shit  
ohno peter got to him

a babey @yeeter  
he needs to sleep

holy @shit  
yes but how did you even-

a babey @yeeter  
:D

~

irondad @tonystark  
I’m back britches

~

a babey @yeeter  
shuri’s hereeeeeeeeeee @brincessofwakanda  
(pic of shuri and peter in the lab)  
(pic of shuri and peter outside a mcdonalds)

irondad @tonystark  
kill me now 

~ 

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
welcome to our twitter thread; shuri and peter take stark/avengers tower :))

a babey @yeeter  
HECK YEAH

uncle bucci is gucci @jbbarnes  
peter, shuri i love you but please don’t

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
aww bucky no

a babey @yeeter  
brb time to blow shit up in a lab

irondad @tonystark  
oh god no

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
@tonystark spoilsport. 

~

stark tower’s ai @fristark  
update: shuri and peter have collectively  
\- pranked all the avengers except @blankwindow  
\- built a hoard of roomba accomplices to help them pull the pranks  
\- trashed two labs by blowing up old projects  
\- almost died twice blowing old projects up  
“they’ve literally been together for 3hours and we’re probably gonna need a new tower soon”  
~@tonystark , staring at the camera feed.

holy @shit  
well damn,, 

~~~~~


	8. identity reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fUck tHe dAiLy buGLe   
> .  
> .  
> .  
> i apologise for my language,, but STAY SAFE AND RESPECT SOCIAL DISTANCING

~~~~~  
a babey @yeeter  
i’m gonna graduate high school tomorrow :)))

holy @shit  
@yeeter congrats!!

may @mayparker  
*sniff* my baby’s all grown up

a babey @yeeter  
watch out world—you’re gonna be in for a surprise

my friends call me @mj  
lmao @spideyfan you gon’ die

~

flash @spideyfan  
what the genuine and absolute FUCK

irondad @tonystark  
bet you weren’t expecting that 

The New York Times @nyt  
BREAKING NEWS: Spider-Man’s identity revealed to be Peter Parker ( @yeeter )

The Daily Bugle @dailybugle  
BREAKING NEWS: Menace “Spiderman” revealed to be teenager Peter Parker. Is he truly a hero of his own volition or is he one of Stark’s lab experiments?

a babey @yeeter  
@dailybugle i have a few things to say,  
1)it’s Spider-Man, with a hyphen  
2)say whatever the fuck you want about me but leave Mr Stark out of this  
3)Stark’s lab experiment? nope. i was bitten by a escaped radioactive spider on a field trip way before I met Mr Stark

r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
go off!!

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
@dailybugle I will be getting our legal team on this. Please refrain from spreading false information with little to no research. Jameson’s biased opinion is NOT a credible source. 

shure jan @brincessofwakanda  
i stan a queen @saltnpepper

~~~~~


	9. #dumbavengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i know it’s been awhile but hbl is rlly rlly stressful and GUESS WHAT WE HAVE FRICKING ONLINE MID YEAR EXAMS  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> anyways  
> stay safe :D

~~~~~  
r-rebecca its @notwhatyouthink  
so, @yeeter @spideyman which account are you gonna use now?

a babey @yeeter  
well i think i’ll mostly use this account but use @spideyman for official business and stuff like that?

~

my friends call me @mj  
well now that the secret is out, can we,, can we share the #dumbavengers content we have? @saltnpepper @yeeter

a babey @yeeter  
OH MYG OD YES PLEASE MS POTTS

the only responsible adult @saltnpepper  
I suppose you could share some of them, as long as there isn’t any confidential information involved. I expect to you to show them to me before posting though. Also, @yeeter, its Pepper. Not Ms Potts.

a babey @yeeter  
YAY THANKUU MS POTTS

a babey @yeeter  
I mean Ms Pepper

my friends call me @mj  
🤦♀️

a babey @yeeter  
@mj its called R E S P E C T

shurejan @brincessofwakanda  
@yeeter yes respect is cool but if you get asked by THE Pepper Potts to use her first name then you better fucking jump at the opportunity!

gitc @nedthaniel  
@yeeter @brincessofwakanda what she said 

~

a babey @yeeter  
go follow our new twitter acc -> @dumbvengers 

spidermom @blankwindow  
damn @clintb is gonna get rekt

birbuncle @clintb  
@blankwindow how could you betray me this way

spidermom @blankwindow  
@clintb are you seriously asking that?? do you not remember our job description??

holy @shit  
lmao roasted

irondad @tonystark  
oh nononono peter no

a babey @yeeter  
but why not mr stark?

irondad @tonystark  
you know damn well why

a babey @yeeter  
no, not really

a babey @yeeter  
care to enlighten me? @tonystark

irondad @tonystark  
bLocKed

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! so if you have any ideas for the #dumbavengers moments, please leave them in the comments!! i’m planning on expanding this fic tbvh but we’ll see i suppose :> until next time!!  
> .  
> .  
> .   
> my next fic will probably continue on @dumbvengers lol

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :)))  
> edit: holy shit thanks for 1000 hits (03/07/20)


End file.
